A Rehab? Really?

I haven't been to the hospital yet today, but I have talked with Claudia a few times. This morning the pain specialists came and removed her femoral blocks. Woo-Hoo total feeling is just around the corner! The nurse took out both of her IV's yesterday, leaving her with just the catheter to lug around when she goes out for her twice daily walks (which, by the way, she is getting much better at). Yesterday, she was able to make it all the way around the nurses station with braces on both of her legs. Today, she did it again, minus the cumbersome braces. That is the first time she has been able to stand without the braces since the surgery Monday. Way to go Claud!!! She is going to kill me for mentioning this, but since it has been a fact of life lately, I'm going to throw it out there anyway... (spoiler: the following will contain discussion of a disgusting adult nature) Apparently, there has been some concern about whether or not her bowels are working properly, and some talk about nurses "helping her along". I am very happy to report that will no longer be necessary. While that is admittedly gross, it is a FANTASTIC sign, that means she is more ready to leave the hospital than she may realize. In fact, the hospital's official statement was something along these lines: If you are going home to your daughter's, we will wait and discharge you tomorrow. If you choose to go to a rehab facility, we can discharge you today. Based on the title of this post, what do you think she chose? That's right, people. She is headed to some rehab facility in Orem later today. Since she won't be reading this any time soon, I can tell you what I really think. I feel bad. I realize that she has to do what she thinks is best for her, but it makes me feel badly that she thinks this is better for her than letting me help her. I cannot imagine that a bunch of strangers can do a better job of taking care of my mother than I can. Part of my problem is that I am trying so hard to be so many things to so many people right now, that this is making me feel like a failure. I can't seem to balance my life right now, and I was hoping that getting her home would help that. (If it seems like I am speaking in tongues, let me try to explain.) I am trying to be a good mom to my kids and falling short- Brock told my mother in law that I don't love him anymore because he has to go to her house and I don't want him at the hospital. I'm not with them, because I am with my mom. I am trying to be a good wife, but honestly, right now, Scott is at the bottom of my list, because he is the most self-sufficient. He is picking up my slack at home as best he can. I am trying to be a good daughter by spending time with my mom and trying to help her with this, but because I am it, as far as our family goes, I feel like I also have to step up and try to fill my dad's shoes. That means, where the daughter in me would maybe hang out with her an hour or two, I feel pressure to stay longer- to not leave her alone too much. I am only one person. I CAN"T be in all those places at once. I was just hoping that I could get her home to my house, where all of the different roles I am playing right now can work together instead of clashing. I'm sure this rehab thing will turn out fine, and this is only a tiny speed bump in the road. I am over-reacting and wallowing in a little self-pity. I need to put on my happy face and go help her get transferred. She is happy about this change, and I will buck up and be happy for her (and cross my fingers that it is short lived).